*Cougar Town*
Jules - Ellie - Andy - Bobby - Laurie - Greyson - Travis

Cougar Town on Changing the Topic

Jules: Unless you know that I’ve watched it, please don’t blab on about any good movies, tv shows or books….eh you can have books.

Tom: Oh hello Jules!  Um whats going on with your wedding?

Jules: Thanks Tom!  I told him to pop up and say that whenever we’ve gone off wedding talk for too long!

Cougar Town 3x02

2 years ago
4 notes

Cougar Town on The Healing Process

Laurie: We could take Trav to the mini golf course that just re-opened.  It’s not a crime scene anymore….they found the head.

Jules: Windmill?

Laurie: Light-house!

Chick: We could take him to a strip club.

Bobby: I’m in!

Jules: Dad!

Chick: Sweetie, your mom is dead plus there’s boobs everywhere.

Jules: Alright, no one is taking my son anywhere ok?  I mean, not to the site of the put put murders, and definatley not to a nudie bar.  

Group: Fine, Ok.

Jules: And dad, tonight when i’m saying my prayers, I’m telling mom what you said.

Chick: Oh please don’t do that.  

Jules: It’s too late.

Chick: Your mom had the most beautiful boobs!

Jules: She really did. 

Cougar Town 2x19

2 years ago
3 notes

Cougar Town on Charity Work

Laurie: Jules!  I didn’t know you sponsored an African child!

Jules: Oh yeah!  Little Imari!  He’s 10.  I gotta say, those letters are getting a little repetitive.  It’s hot, I’m hungry, there’s snakes….

Ellie: Sure Sure.

Cougar Town 2x17

2 years ago
5 notes

Cougar Town on Nicknames

Greyson: I’m feeling good about Jason.  That is half Jules half Greyson.  See I combined out names like they do with the celebrity couples. 

Jules: Jason sucks.  It’s a real name.  What about Grules?

Greyson: That sounds like something orphans eat!  Please sir, may I have some grules?

Jules: No!  You get back in your spaceship! 

Greyson: What?

Jules: I don’t know what we’re doing.

Cougar Town 2x12

3 years ago
16 notes

Cougar Town on Spiritual Beings

Jules: I don’t believe in ghosts, because if they were real, I’d like to think I’d get felt up all the time!

Cougar Town 2x21

3 years ago
8 notes

Cougar Town on Deception

Jules: Why are you even up?

Ellie: Because my stupid baby woke me up.  Better question is why are you wearing full makeup?

Jules: I’m not ready for Josh to see my morning face so I set two alarms, one at four and one at five and then I get up and do my hair and makeup, I go back to bed, fake a sleep until the next alarm goes off and then he thinks I wake up looking like this!

Ellie: Crafty!

Cougar Town 1x02

3 years ago
5 notes

Cougar Town on Lady-Like Behaviour

Laurie: I call the bed by the window!

Jules: How are you naked already?

Laurie: What?  I was changing and got sidetracked by bed choice.

Ellie: Well of course it’s your bed now it’s got your tramp stink all over it. 

Laurie: Jules did you hear her?  Bitch!  I am a lady!

Cougar Town 1x08

3 years ago
4 notes

Cougar Town on Lost Property

Jules: Has anyone tried frisking Laurie?  Sometimes my missing stuff actually ends up in wierd spots on her body.

Laurie: So not true!

Jules: Really?  Last weekend, my earring, your armpit.  It happened.

Laurie: Yeah it did.

Cougar Town 2x09

3 years ago
7 notes

Cougar Town on Sorority Politics.

Laurie: You know what I loved most about college?

Ellie: Oh Jellybean…are you confusing college with that management training course that you took at the waffle house?

Laurie: Fine, I didn’t go to college, but I still like to hang out and pretend I was a student and go to all the awesome parties!  I even joined a sorority but the politics drive me crazy.  So Kelly Archer gave Suzie Whitley’s boyfriend a Wha-Ahh  and I’m not supposed to go on her parents boat for Spring Break?  That my friends is horse crap!

Cougar Town 2x02

2 years ago
3 notes

Cougar Town on Therapy

Jules: I don’t want to be late for my shrinks appointment.  My dad called me drunk again last night.  

Ellie: I don’t know why you waste your money on therapy when you have me.  If I have a problem, I just go to you.

Jules: You don’t have real problems!  It’s always ‘my husband loves me too much’ or ‘I hate my nannies hair’

Ellie: Pigtails at 50?!  Really?!

Cougar Town 2x01

2 years ago
7 notes

Cougar Town on life long friendships

Andy: Ok, I put together an album with all the people we’re no longer friends with and I just wanna know why.

Ellie: Okay.  Missed my birthday party, talked behind my back, oh too happy all the time, said her house was quaint, named her daughter Chessapique, too old for hair that long, always tried to hug me, calls her husband Hurricane Frank, vegan, vegan, vegan - they’re all friends, doesn’t like Howard Stern, thought it would be funny to squirt me with a hose, husband is a tool, ran a marathon, doesn’t drink, oh and the last one is easy because it’s your mother.

Andy: Great

Cougar Town 2x12

3 years ago
16 notes

Cougar Town on Boundaries.

Jules: Since Travis isn’t listening to me, I should tag in one of you.

Ellie: Fine.  I’ll just -

Jules: Not you.

Laurie: Fine I’ll do it.  He has a crush on me so I can make him listen.  Just give me my parameters.  Is middle school style okay - under the shirt, over the bra or are we going full on ninth grade in which case I’m going to need to rent a hotel room or maybe a boat.  Ellie.  Look at how scared she is!

Ellie: Can you blame her jellybean?

Cougar Town 2x21

3 years ago
4 notes

Cougar Town on Family Secrets

Jules: So I called your college and told them you left school because your grandmother has syphilis.  It’s ok, there’s a little truth to that.

Laurie: Woah.

Travis: Nana Cobb?

Jules: We’re moving her to a less ‘swingy’ retirement home.

Cougar Town 2x21

3 years ago
7 notes

Cougar Town on Accents

Ellie: When Jules’s dad comes to visit, she starts talking all folksy.

Jules: Ellie Torres I’m fixin’ to get so mad at you.

Ellie: Really?  Are ya fixin’?

Cougar Town 2x06

3 years ago
6 notes

Cougar Town on False Advertising

Jules: Shanna! I’m so sorry about yesterday.  I had a little headlight incident.

Shanna: They Know.  What did you think would happen with a white swimsuit?

Jules: In the catalog the model was coming out of the water and it looked fine.  Well she was also wearing high heels and was on a motorcycle…

Cougar Town 1x08

3 years ago
1 note